I guess the simplest way to say this, is that I’m sorry (OK I guess this IS an apology) I’m not much of an updater on this site (or at ALL). I thought by signing up, the ideas would flow and I’d be able to write like I used to. And the truth is, I have the ideas, and I put the words to paper, and then… nothing. I get stumped half way through, or I decide it’s not good enough, and because I’m incapable of giving anything less than my absolute best I give up. I’m believe that nothing is ever good enough for the fine people that still swing by to see if I’ve written anything.
All 12 of you…
I want you to know that I love that you still do that. Really. I appreciate it more than you know; and somehow it makes me feel like I’ve let you down.
In which case, if I HAVE let you down.. Free hug next time I see you?
But really, if I’m going to do this, it has to be for me. You know? I’m surrounded by amazing talented writers and bloggers who never cease to come up with the perfect pithy, witty phrase whilst I’m trying to mentally edit out my “umms” and “aahhhs”. Which is bloody intimidating. Even though I love them, their superhuman writing abilities scare the crap out of me. And what MAKES them so intimidating, is that they stay true to themselves. They don’t take crap from anyone. They don’t write for anyone, but themselves. And it shows, in their voice, and the frequency with which they write.
As some know, this past year has been particularly trying for me. It’s been AMAZING. But also very very hard. I’m looking forward to moving forward. Life is never calm, but I’d never felt less in control of it than I did the last year. So, my HOPE is, that while I grow and mature as a person, maybe I can make some progress with the site.
Maybe. No promises.